What is shared online, in support groups, private messages, on a persons wall or in a status update, is often the vulnerability, the fear, the reality, the sadness or the joy of our current situation. As we live, from moment to moment, the World Wide Web witnesses it all. But, it is the honesty in those messages, posts or tweets that make them different. Online, surrounded by our TN Family, we feel heard and understood. It is that ability to speak and be heard that makes these relationships essential to our lives and our wellbeing. There have been so many times over the last few years that I've typed something, had second thoughts and hit delete and then typed it again. Having the courage to speak freely can be challenging and can open you up to criticism. But, in my humble opinion, it is only with that openness that we find the support, encouragement and reassurance that we need to feel 'normal', or as though we belong to something greater than our small isolated world. If things are hard, we need to have the confidence to let people know. Let those that can relate, give you their love and support. If there is joy, share it and let people rejoice in your moment of happiness, the chances are it will also lift them. We need to ignore those who can only find words that belittle or criticise, that show their ignorance or lack of empathy, because those words pull you further down and make you afraid to speak openly next time. I'm not implying, that everything a person feels or experiences needs to be shared, or validated for that matter. We don't need permission to feel the way we feel or to express it online. But perhaps at times, we do need to know that there are people who share our experience or that there's a virtual hug or a few words of comfort to help the moment pass.
The tragic loss of another TN Sister has shaken so many. There is so much sadness and heartache in our TN Family today. In the midst of this devastating news, I not only feel immense sadness, I also feel grateful. I am surrounded by people, in a virtual world, who would support me, love me, comfort me, laugh with me, hug me, yell at me and check up on me, because they understand me and have very similar daily experiences themselves. I know how lucky this makes me and I don't believe I take any of my TN Family for granted.
One thing that does and that will always make me sad, is not just the ever growing number of TN Brothers and Sisters that are joining our Family, but my inability to tell everyone of them that I genuinely care. If I had the time and if my memory didn't let me down so often, I would make it my mission to have personal contact with every single one. Sadly, that's impossible and I forget so many details these days. I blame the ridiculous amount of medication and the fact that someone's messed around with my brain!
Image by Nikki Samuel
